


A Fresh Start

by DarthTella



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthTella/pseuds/DarthTella
Summary: Tentoo and Rose have a lot of things to work out as they spend some time together in Norway.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29





	A Fresh Start

**Author's Note:**

> *looks at all my other WIPS* yeeeeeah... I got another plot bunny here.

Rose left her footprints behind in the sand as she placed one foot in front of the other; leaving this godforsaken beach for what she truly hoped was the last time. She never wanted to see this bloody beach again. She thought she was completely done with it, and she finally could move on from this place and explore others and have fun like she used to. But like a lot of things in her life, it didn't go the way she planned.

All of the adrenaline that had given her so much energy over the last few hours was quickly draining from her body leaving her feeling heavy yet lightweight at the same time. When was the last time she slept? Rose couldn’t remember. Twenty four, or maybe even forty eight hours ago? With so many things happening at the same time, it was easy for everything to become a massive jumble in her mind. Now fatigue was starting to hit her hard. All she wanted to do was just sleep for around a week and prayed to anyone that was listening that when she woke up things would make sense. But there were so many things she had to attend to before she could even think of resting.

First she had to make it into the small town located just a short walk from the beach. It had a half decent hotel that she stayed in last time. Her memories of the place were a bit fuzzy. The last time she stayed there just happened to be the absolute worst day of her life after all. But from that hotel she was certain she could phone her Torchwood team and report that the mission was complete. The stars were all back where they should be, and there was no more danger facing this universe or any other. On top of all of this, she  _ finally  _ found the Doctor. Now she just had to explain why she had returned and why the Doctor returned with her with no way back to his universe.

Not that he appeared like he wanted to go back. This also wasn’t the Doctor she was trying to find, but at the same time he was. He was a completely new being, but he apparently had over nine hundred years of memories inside his head that he had lived through. And, if all that wasn’t enough, he was part human. This Doctor had only one heart and would grow old and die as he no longer had the ability to regenerate.

But the most jarring difference of all was the fact that he said he loved her. Right after he whispered the words into her ear she had grabbed him by the front of his jacket and kissed him like she always wanted to. He was as still as a statue for a moment before he was hauling her right up against him as he begun to kiss her with a staggering amount of passion. It was almost as if he’d also been dreaming of this moment ever since they were separated. When she had tried to pull away to get some air, he held on even tighter despite the fact he sounded like he also needed to breathe.

Perhaps the lack of oxygen in her brain and the feel of the Doctor’s lips moving desperately against hers made her oblivious of everyone else around her. She didn’t hear the other Doctor and Donna silently slip back into the TARDIS. Why her mother didn’t say anything in protest was beyond her. Maybe they were too quick for her to react. But could she blame the Doctor? If it was correct that he did indeed have the same thoughts and memories, he felt just the same as this new Doctor. It must have been hard to watch her kiss another man who was the same as him in almost every respect. 

In her mind Rose could still hear the roar of the TARDIS engines fading as the Doctor had left her behind. But he hadn’t left her behind. Another Doctor who was still the same Doctor except he was part human. The whole situation was starting to give her a headache as everything tumbled over and over again in her head on a never ending loop that had begun to get tangled beyond repair. 

There was a tug on her hand which was now oddly outstretched in front of her, and she suddenly realised she had stopped walking. Her vision was starting to blur and her eyes were suddenly burning. Something hot and wet rolled down her cheek and the Doctor was suddenly standing right in front of her. He squeezed her hand, the hand that she hadn’t let go of since he took hold of it. She imagined that he would disappear completely if she let go.

She couldn’t lose him again. Not after everything she’d been through.

“Rose?” His voice sounded like it was coming from very far away, even though he was standing so close. More tears clouded her vision, and for a moment she didn’t see the Doctor standing in front of her, but that ghostly hologram he projected so long ago. Yet another thing she never wanted to see again. The memory of that moment squeezed all the breath out of her lungs. 

But it wasn’t the memory doing that to her now. The Doctor was wrapping her in a hug and holding her tightly. Rose idly wondered if their two bodies would fuse into one if he squeezed her hard enough. Her fingers dug into his suit jacket as she returned the embrace and she nuzzled her nose into the side of his neck like she used to do. The smell of smoke from the crucible was clinging to the fabric of his clothes, but underneath that she could still smell a unique mixture of chalk dust, boiled sweets, diesel and lime. The scent of him; one that she had started to associate with her home before it was all violently ripped away from her. 

“He left. He left me again. He didn’t even say goodbye.” Rose wasn’t even aware she was even saying the words out loud until the Doctor stepped away from her slightly. He cupped her cheeks in his hands gently wiping away her tears with his thumbs. He tilted up her face and Rose could see her reflection in his dark brown eyes.

“He couldn’t.” The Doctor answered gently, his thumbs continuing to caress her cheeks as if they had a will of their own.

“Why not?” Rose batted the Doctor’s hands away from her face as a sudden surge of anger rose up within her. Part of her mind was screaming at her to calm down, that yelling at this Doctor would only serve to alienate him. But she was far too exhausted to listen to her inner voice, “Why must you always leave me behind? What gives you the right to decide what happens to me without even giving me--” Rose cut herself off as she watched the Doctor’s expression morph from concern to hurt to practically no emotion at all. His hands fell limply back down to his sides. Rose looked away in shame. It wasn’t  _ this  _ Doctor’s fault. He wasn’t the one who swanned off when it was most convenient for him.

_ “He’s not  _ you _.” _

Her words echoed through her mind and she realised just how right she was. Yes, they were somehow the same person, but the Doctor standing in front of her now was not the one running away. The urge to do just that nearly overwhelmed Rose, but then she felt that she would be just as bad as the Doctor. Plus where would she go? And besides, this Doctor didn’t deserve that sort of treatment. A dull ache developed behind her eyes, and she knew it had the potential to grow into a full blown migraine. Somehow she didn’t mind. She sort of felt like she deserved the pain for being so horrible.

In the corner of her eye, Rose could see her mother striding towards them, but the Doctor held up his hand to stop her. Jackie stopped in her tracks, seemingly at war with herself with what she wanted to do. But after a moment she nodded and retreated back to give them some privacy.

The Doctor’s hands disappeared into his pockets, and just when Rose was gearing herself up for yet another rejection he brought them back out again. In one hand he held a banana and in the other a bottle of orange juice. Rose risked a peek up at his face, and her eyes began once again swimming with tears when she saw just how open and vulnerable he looked.

“Please.” He whispered holding the snack out further towards her. Rose’s hands shook as she reached out and took the banana first. Somehow she managed to peel it, and even though she felt like she was going to vomit she forced herself take a bite. Her brain finally registered just how hungry she was and Rose practically inhaled the rest of it. The lid to the orange juice was already removed as the Doctor correctly seemed to predict Rose had no patience for fiddly things like that as she nearly gave up on the banana. The juice was gone in a flash.

“Thanks.” Rose muttered, the plastic of the empty juice bottle being crushed between her hands nearly drowning out her voice. The Doctor gently plucked it from her grip and it disappeared into his pocket once more so it wouldn’t join the banana peel that Rose had dropped carelessly onto the sand. 

“I learned a very long time ago that it’s wise to carry snacks in your pockets.” A wry smile crossed the Doctor’s face. Despite everything, Rose smiled slightly as the memory of a very bemused Doctor finding snacks in the pockets of his borrowed dressing gown flitted through her head. 

He held his arms open wide, clearly hinting at what he wanted but still gave Rose room to retreat. More tears burned at her eyes. How could he be so forgiving after all the awful things she said? She treated him like dirt, but he just turned around and started taking care of her, even reminiscing with her. The snack, although small, was already starting to help her feel better. Her hesitation only lasted a moment though, as one look into the Doctor’s eyes broke her already shaky resolve. There was no judgement in his gaze, only pure tenderness and if she dared to think it love. It was as if the hurt was never there to begin with.

He wrapped his arms around her once more, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head before cradling her head against his collarbone. It was hardly the snog they had only mere minutes ago, but warmth still flooded through her nonetheless.

“I’m angry at him too, you know.” The Doctor sighed, “I know it’s hard to see us as two different people. I am him and he is me, and that’s a concept even my own mind has a slightly hard time with. And I’ve met other versions of myself over the years, but it’s different somehow when you’re two separate entities but somehow the same person… it’s bonkers. Metacrisies don’t happen, well, ever really. I’m unique in that regard. So ultimately you were right to say that I’m not him. I know you look at me, and resent me--”

“I don’t resent you.” Rose cut him off, tightening her arms around him. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” Rose pulled out of his arms, “I can’t be shouting at you for things that aren’t your fault. He was the one being an arse. Pushing me away. Unable to finish one bloody sentence! ‘Does it need saying?’” Her impression of the Doctor was scathing, “What sort of idiotic question is that?” The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet in the sand.

“He was wrong to say that. It  _ does  _ need saying. You need to hear how loved you are, and I’m sorry I never said it before. I love you so much Rose Tyler, you have no idea! And he loves you, but he couldn’t say it because he knew if you went with him, he’d be forced to watch you age and die while he lived on and it would tear him apart. I never told you how I felt out of fear that as soon as I said the words I’d lose you. And that’s not at all fair to you. That’s why he left you with me. We can actually have a proper life together now. And that’s something I’ve wanted for so long, but I never dared to believe was possible.” Rose rubbed at her aching forehead. These were words she’d never expected the Doctor to actually say, but she knew that this Doctor had absolutely nothing to hold back from her anymore. She took a deep breath to try and collect her thoughts. This wasn’t the outcome she imagined, but would it be so bad?

“I want that too.” A small smile tugged at her lips, and the Doctor’s returning smile shone like the sun. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her gently.

“Oi, save the snogging until you’re properly alone!” Jackie called out and the Doctor’s mouth popped away from hers with a startled gasp and eyes as large as dinner plates. Rose turned towards her mother who looked far less outraged than she sounded. In fact she had a small smile on her face. “And I don’t know about you two, but I’m freezin’ my tail off just stadin’ ‘ere. Why is it we always end up on this bloody beach anyways?”

“Well--” The Doctor started, and Rose knew that they were all in for a lengthy explanation of the topic if she didn’t do something. She took hold of his hand and started walking towards her mother.

“Let’s get somewhere warm first, mum. Then the Doctor can explain until his heart’s content.”

“Oh god, if he has half the gob as the other one that could take hours!” Jackie sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically. Nevertheless, she was smiling. The Doctor chuckled.

“I missed you too, Jackie Tyler.” Rose could hear the honesty in his voice and it seemed to take Jackie slightly aback. Then Rose found herself pulled into a group hug squished between her mother and the Doctor. Something settled in her heart; a contentment she hadn’t felt for years. It was the first time she ever felt like she belonged in this universe. A bit of guilt wormed its way back in, however. Her heart was still torn between the Doctor who left, and the Doctor who was now laughing in her ear. Rose doubted she could ever forget the other Doctor, but she was willing to give this new Doctor a chance.

A cold gust of wind blew in from the sea, and she felt the Doctor shiver beside her.

“It’s so bloody freezing out here!” He lamented pulling out of the hug, “How do you humans cope?”

“By gettin’ inside.” Jackie sighed. “Come on, the hotel isn’t too far away.” Rose let her mum lead the way as she slipped her arm through the Doctor’s elbow so he could hopefully benefit from some of her body heat. 


End file.
